New Kids On The Ed: Xander
by Legacy of the Phoenix
Summary: The Eds' new friend, a kid with a low opinion of Peach Creek, yanks the cul-de-sac into the 21st Century by introducing everyone to many trendy things. A sinister force continues to observe everyone. Ed Edd n Eddy created by Danny Antonucci.


The Eds stand in the middle of Eddy's bedroom, which still only possesses Eddy's round, king-sized bed due to his burning everything else to be rid of the residual essence of his former self. They are joined by one of the new kids. A boy by the name of Xander McCall. He is a Black-American boy with a short but noticeable amount of hair and a purple tongue. He wears a white T-shirt with a short sleeve black, unbuttoned shirt over it, gray shorts, and gray sneakers. He also wears a crown necklace.

Xander surveys Eddy's room for a brief moment before he looks back at Eddy himself, "You used to have a lot of retro stuff in here, didn't you?"

"Uh…yeah. How'd you know?" Eddy asks surprised.

"Ed and Double D." Xander walks around the room, "They told me what kind of guy you used to be. And that kind of guy would definitely have a taste for the retro. But as for you…I think the best thing for you, especially if you wanna keep that bed, is to go base."

"Huh?" The Eds exclaim confused.

"Dead serious? You don't know what that means?" Xander scoffs with a chuckle, "Means go simple. Get another dresser. A TV. A laptop. Maybe some posters of some chicks from a Bikini Babes mag. I'll call a guy."

Xander takes out a cell phone, something the fascinated Eds, not even Edd, has ever laid eyes on. Given the often-retro setting their show always had, they had never been introduced to such things.

"That is much more than a cordless phone, gentlemen." Edd points out. "As for a laptop, I cannot say for certain."

Xander looks to the impressed Eds, "Dead serious? Never even seen a cell phone? Or laptop? Man!"

* * *

Later that day, in the second cul-de-sac, which used to be the **Construction Site**, we see Xander's silhouette through a first-floor window in his orange-tinted house arguing with his much-taller, silhouetted father.

"….I hate it here! It's lame! It's boring! There's _no_ action! _No_ real fun! And it might as well be stuck in the 70s! The other kids are cool and all, but they don't know nothin' about nothin'! I had to _literally_ draw a picture for them to get certain things! Cell phones! Blu-ray players! Video games that _aren't_ in arcades! At least the other new kids knew this stuff!"

Mr. McCall points his finger towards the door, silently telling Xander to go outside and play. And cool off. Xander storms out. He eventually walks into the first cul-de-sac, still angry when,

"Hey, Xander!"

The voice of a familiar girl stops him in his tracks. He turns and grins when he sees that it is Nazz.

"What's up, Nazz?" Xander greets her with positivity.

"Like, what's wrong, dude? You seem mad." Nazz asks.

"I uh…guess I just miss Orange Falls, you know?" Xander admits. "I mean, it's so different here. I don't see how you guys do it. Just ride bikes and play tag."

"We're just simple, that's all." Nazz cheerily replies. "Not Rolf-simple, but…"

"Yeah." Xander then remembers, "Nazz, you know all about what's in around here, right?"

"Totally." Nazz agrees.

"Then, maybe you can gimme a hand." Xander wonders. "Help me ease everyone into a…simpler life. We can start with those Eds. I like 'em and they're pretty good at gettin' everyone's attention."

"You _so_ don't know the half of it. Whatever they told you, it's not everything." Nazz grabs Xander's hand and walks with him in answer to his request to have her help him. Xander smiles at this, recognizing Nazz as a reason for stomaching Peach Creek.

With the help of Nazz, Xander introduces the Eds to modern trends. He demonstrates the use and function of the XBOX to Ed, but first had to keep the bigger boy from eating it. He then teaches the use and features of a DELL laptop to Edd, who naturally proves to be immediately adept with it and even enjoys it despite the fact that he still prefers his books. Nazz, having been taught by Xander himself, introduces Eddy to the use and function of a cell phone, her own trendy nature enabling her to become an expert immediately. Eddy is fascinated by this.

Before long, the Eds are passing on what they learned from Xander and Nazz to the cul-de-sac kids.

Eddy instructs Kevin on the use of a cell phone. He picks it up fast as Xander and Nazz watch. Though enthralled, Kevin breaks away for a moment to watch Nazz put a hand on Xander's shoulder and smile; stirring up some internal jealousy.

* * *

Edd instructs Rolf on the use of a laptop. But the technological advancement strains him even more than the things before and he picks up a giant ax, ready to destroy it. Edd quickly grabs the laptop and runs to the corner with it before Rolf sliced the table in half. Before he could go crazier, Xander, who has been standing behind the two with Nazz the whole time, uses two fingers to strike a nerve on Rolf's neck, rendering him unconscious. Edd and Nazz are flabbergasted by this feat, but he merely shrugs.

* * *

Ed has become addicted to the XBOX, playing one of the many two dozen games Xander loaned him; Xander himself observing Ed with his arms folded and with a small smirk, realizing that this sort of thing is perfect for a kid like Ed. Nazz is not with him this time because she wants to enjoy her new Blu-ray player. Sarah bursts in with Jimmy, demanding Ed give her a turn. Ed rather uncharacteristically makes a gesture to tell her to go away. An infuriated Sarah tries to attack him and Xander readies to counter when,

"Huh?!" An unseen force uses an unnaturally long piece of black licorice to ensnare both Sarah and Jimmy!

"Not again!" Jimmy whines.

"'Dre!" Sarah shouts the name of the unseen child as she and Jimmy are yanked out of Ed's room.

"Squirt does somethin' useful for once." Xander mumbles to himself about the unseen Dre'.

* * *

Not much later, at different points, the Eds and the cul-de-sac kids (sans Rolf and the adapted Nazz) are taken to previously unseen stores by their parents in order to acquire their own, personal contemporary items and objects.

* * *

At another point, in Eddy's garage, Xander introduces the Eds to something not necessarily modern, but certainly special.

"Got enough of this." Xander shuts off the water hose, having filled the kiddie pool halfway. He then takes out a pack of jawbreaker mix and pours it into the kiddie pool, "Get this."

Three seconds later,

SHUNK! SHUNK! SHUNK! SHUNK! SHUNK! SHUNK! Twelve jawbreakers spontaneously pop up in place of the water in the kiddie pool!

"Jawbreakers!" The Eds exclaim in excitement!

"You can order the packs online." Xander explains.

"Wait, you serious?" Eddy asks surprised.

"Dead." Xander nods. "I'll see you guys around."

In his home, Xander sits in the dark in the middle of the room and meditates as he does every day or night. He finds it a bit difficult this time around considering the thoughts that continue to cloud him. His dislike for Peach Creek in spite of the impact he made on the cul-de-sacs. His homesickness in regards to Orange Falls. And, of course…Nazz. He just cannot seem to get her out of his mind, much like the rest of the boys at one time. Unable to meditate tonight, he simply starts playing a portable PSP.

* * *

Sometime next week, Eddy orders a jumbo bag of jawbreaker mix. Along with Edd and Ed, has rebuilt the giant bowl they had back in **Wish you were Ed**, but filled it up with water instead of milk. As Eddy stands atop the bowl ready to rip open the bag, the other Eds, the cul-de-sac kids, Irene (who eats a few Chelan cherries), and the remaining four silhouetted new kids stand on the ground below ready to bear witness.

Before Eddy rips open the bag, he looks down and notices, "Hey, where's Xander? Wouldn't have this if it wasn't for him. If anything, he should do the honors."

"Sit tight, dude. I'll get him." Nazz departs to retrieve Xander.

"Uh, lemme give ya a ride there so we don't gotta wait." Jealous, Kevin has Nazz hop on his bike.

* * *

In front of the McCall House, a car pulls up into the driveway and Mr. McCall forces an angry Xander out of the passenger seat; the latter having recently called up an older friend to swing by and get him so they could hang out at Orange Falls. Rather than ground him, Mr. McCall takes all but Xander's meditation mat and wooden dummy out of his room, forcing him to do nothing but meditate, train, and go outside to play with the other kids.

Xander is again put out of the house by his father in order to force him to learn to like Peach Creek. He sulks in glumness when,

"There you are! Come on, we need you for something!" Nazz shows up and grabs Xander's hand with both hands before she pulls him out of our sight.

* * *

Moments later, Xander stands atop the makeshift bowl, rips open the mix, and pours it into the water. Six seconds later,

RUUUUUMMMMBBBBLLLEEE-BOOOOOOOM! To an ox sound-effect in the background, an abundance of jawbreakers emerge from within the bowl in place of the water!

"YEAH!" The Eds and their friends leap up and down excited.

"Let's eat!" Eddy kicks the bowl, which causes thirteen jawbreakers to fall out and be caught by almost everyone.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! Ouch!" Ed, instead of catching the jawbreaker, ends up getting pounded out of sight and into the ground by one that bounced on his head four times.

"Idiot." Sarah rolls her eyes as Jimmy laughs.

"A wondrous display wouldn't you agree, cousin?" Edd consumes his jawbreaker as a silhouetted child merely shrugs.

"You rock, Xander!" Nazz shouts to him.

"Yeah, dude!" Kevin agrees.

"Praise to the up-to-the-minute, Xander-boy!" Rolf raises his hand.

All thirteen children, including the muffles, buried Ed, chant, "Xander! Xander! Xander! Xander!"

Xander grins at the sight of this appreciation, which is a slight callback to his status back in his hometown. If for no other reason than the people, the other kids, he is now willing to deal with being a resident of Peach Creek. At least for now.

"Eat up!" Xander begins throwing more jawbreakers down to the kids to enjoy.

* * *

Unbeknownst to everyone, The Gourd and Timber are observing them, with special focus on Xander himself.

"This one's complicated, all right, Timber." The Gourd admits. "He doesn't care for the cul-de-sacs and yet, he's put on a pedestal."

The Gourd looks to Timber as if he replied,

"That's true. He's a threat either way. His brother, too. But they're still just small fish."

The screen then focuses on the Eds.


End file.
